Dating Standards: First Date Deal Breakers #2- "Talking About the Ex"

A person “Relationship Resume” is a direct reflection of where they have been, where they are now and where they are going.  Undoubtedly asking about your dates most recent break-up experience will provide you with a more in depth understanding of their relationship preferences and emotional availability. Knowing what is appropriate to ask and when to stop talking about the “ex” are key factors to successful dating. Remember less is better, over cooking the “ex “talk can burn the date to a crisp!

Ideally the only two questions that should be entertained are: How long has it been since your last relationship? And what caused the break-up?, Anything more than that can create awkward tension and possibly derail your chances for a second date.  Knowing how long since your date’s last relationship can determine emotional availability; rebound relationships stem from getting involved to quick too soon and not allowing time to properly heal emotional wounds.  As equally important is asking the root of the cause in a failed relationship, emotional maturity is cultivated through accountability and we all know it takes two to tango! The hope is that one would improve at their faults to avoid making the same mistake twice.

It is understandable that not all break-ups result in a fairy tale ending, but if one uses derogatory terms such as; psycho, bitch, whore, asshole etc…. to reference the ex, it can suggest unresolved emotions or bitterness.  And bitter souls are incapable of loving unconditionally.

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER under any circumstance, compare your ex to your date, it is distasteful and again another indicator that you are still harboring unresolved feelings.

So keep it brief, to the point, and respectful and your date will be admire the great character you displayed.

We will discuss remaining friends with the ex at a later blog….a whole discussion in its own.

Just Keeping it Real!