You’re sitting at dinner with your BFF and at the corner of your eye you catch the glance of a very handsome man. You lock eyes for a brief moment and your heart flutters with excitement. Within seconds your overwhelmed with a cocktail of emotions, thankfully the one that is connected to your rationality is keeping you from looking like a foolish teenager and you remain in your cool. He makes his calculated move and slowly with a masculine and confident approach he hands you his number and says, “I would be honored if you would accept a dinner invitation?” You slowly roll your tongue back up from the floor and gain enough breath to say, “I will call you”. You wait for him to exit the building, then you do the; “omg, omg, omg” celebration dance.
The big question now becomes, should I ask him the compatibility questions? Or should I just go on the date and ask questions later?
The answer should be a personal choice based on what it is exactly that you seek in a relationship. One of my close childhood friends, Joseph, made a comment to me that he has accepted the fact that he will never find the right girl and grow to be the ultimate senior bachelor. I asked him, “Well what have you been looking for?” and he proceeded to give me a laundry list of physical attributes. He is clear in his standards but the big mistake he has been making is allowing the physical attraction to take the lead, therefore compromising all his standards for the trophy girlfriend.
Undoubtedly chemistry is the initial ingredient required to start the courtship but what is required to start a relationship is compatibility and to maintain a healthy relationship is commonalities in traits, values, goals, emotional drives and beliefs.
So if the goal is to find a life partner, then I suggest you ask the questions first and save yourself a lot of time, money and heartache.
Just keeping it Real!
I definately agree. Ask the questions first. Chemistry is important in a relationship, but it is not the only aspect of one.
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