Ready to Date: Defining What You Want in a Relationship!

Do you ever find yourself saying, “I don’t like the person I have become in this relationship”? Or better yet, “She/he is just not the same person that I first met”. And although people do change throughout the course of their lifetime the one thing that remains the same are your core values.  They represent who you are and what you need.  Not to misrepresent what you are picky about, but what are your non-negotiable deal breakers.  Preferring to date an individual with specific hair color is picky; choosing not to date someone out of your religious beliefs is a deal breaker. They are the markers for compatibility with your life-long partner; they form the strong bond of commitment and respect. 

The key to finding that right person requires the simple task of getting to know and understand yourself first before venturing into exploring someone else.  Having a clear understanding of what your needs are in a relationship will mold the footsteps into the right direction in finding a compatible partner. The same should be said in dating someone who knows what they want out of a relationship.  If your partner is unsure of what they want or need from you in a relationship, then more than likely they are emotionally unavailable to love unconditionally.  Healthy relationships are based on mutual love and respect; grounded on compatible core values.

Your core values are an essential part of making life decisions, such as choosing to have children or religious preferences.  Discussing your relationship needs should be negotiated beforehand, throughout the courtship period and not well into a committed relationship. In doing so, you can better establish a solid foundation for a long-term healthy relationship and possibly avoid unwanted heartaches or a bitter divorce.  More than often, relationships fail due to lack of mutual conformity to ones traditional cores and values.

So take an inventory and define your core values, understand what your emotional needs are and identify your love pattern (I suggest you read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman).

Now most importantly, DO NOT compromise your core values.  There is nothing sexier than a man or a woman who knows exactly what they want.

Keeping it Real!