When to Start Dating After A Break-Up

There is no secret formula or specific time frame to start dating after a break-up or divorce.  Everyone deals with loss in a different manner and it is only through the process of time that a broken heart can begin to mend. How much time depends on your emotional investment, you might have already been mentally checked out and just now gaining the courage to do something about it; clearly the longer the relationship, the longer the healing process. Whatever the circumstance might be, ask yourself the following questions to aid you in determining if you are ready or not to venture into the dating world:

1.    Does your ex occupy your thoughts often?

2.    Do you still get emotional, angry or upset when dealing with your ex?

3.    Do you find yourself making comparisons of your ex to other individuals?

4.  Do you have a burning desire to contact your ex after coming home from a night out        with friends or a date?

5.  Do you find yourself checking their status on social networks, i.e. facebook, twitters etc…

6.   Are you still doing favors for your ex or going out of your way to try to please them?

7. Do you find yourself driving by their place of work or residence?

8. Are you purposely sending “accidental text” in hopes of a reaction?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, more than likely you have not completely healed from the break-up.  The feelings and attachments you still have for your ex can negatively impact any new relationship.   Unresolved or suppressed emotions of loss can later come back to haunt you, and quite possibly when you least expect it to resurface, manifesting itself in a disguised manner that we don’t often connect the dots to.  Prematurely jumping into a new relationship will not solve or heal the feelings of hurt, anger or hate, but manifest only new emotions of frustration, and desperation. That new partner deserves to have the best of you, not the damaged remains.

Be cautious of the relationship hoppers, these are individuals that jump from one relationship to another without any healing breaks in-between.   As a result, they will usually display characteristics of being clingy, needy and co-dependent people.  A definite red flag and strong indicator that the emotional capacity to love whole heartedly without conditions will be short lived.

So if you must jump into something, jump into a friendship.

Just Keeping it Real!