You should always be amiable and polite on your first date, but if you are not feeling the chemistry and you sense your date having much stronger feelings than you, then raise up your “just want to be friends” card before you continue to mislead that person into thinking you are interested in anything more than what you are willing to give. You can’t always assume that your date will pick up on the cues that you’re just not into them especially if you are being overly nice and attentive. Some men and woman become selfish by enjoying their ego’s being stroked and even though it feels great to have someone desire you, it is never acceptable to give false intentions at someone else’s expense; if you’re lonely get a dog. By no means am I suggesting for you to be rude or obnoxious, instead be direct with your intentions. The following are some suggestions for getting the message across:
- You can state “I am not interested in getting into any relationships at this time but would like to maintain a friendship. (Always make it about you and not them; keep it classy!)”.
- Don’t give any eye contact or body language that can be misinterpreted as flirtatious.
- Do not discuss any type of future dates or plans.
- Do not use any terms of endearment, such as, baby, honey, my love etc….
- DO NOT give any type of affection whatsoever, especially a good night kiss or a hug. Extend your arm and go for the hand-shake, which should get the message across, if all else fails.
A reader sent in a letter discussing how she was very confused by her suitor’s actions following what she believed to be a great first date. He never contacted her or responded to any of her messages, which left her perplexed considering that throughout the course of the date, he was very assiduous, continuously flirtatious, and even went in for a kiss at the end of the evening; unfortunately she was lead on by his false intentions.
Whatever factors are involved for his unresponsiveness, it all equates back to his interest level. We can make excuses and rationalize it to his need for a challenge; however the majority of men are self-indulgent and will stop at nothing to get what they want. So yes ladies, if he is not calling you back, it’s because he was just not into you. Lick your wounds and get yourself back on track, that great guy is around the corner or maybe just right under your nose, but how would you ever know with all your efforts being exhausted by an undeserving guy.
Just Keeping it Real!
OMG! Yea I should have known the signs at the early stage. I guess I was just too blind by the physical aspect of him and didnt care about the personality as much until you get to know him even more then his true colors came out! DAMN.
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